Myself: Almost everything about me

Last updated: July 4, 2014 at 17:48 GMT Share: Twitter | Facebook

Myself: Almost everything about me
Who be I? I be stompin' yo ass if you ask me that again!

My name is Michael Kwayisi (apparently); a nominal member of the Homo sapiens species that are occupying the planet Earth. I have an unusually strong attachment to those programmable devices called computers. What's more, I entertain the idea of me being a geek, both in connection with the said devices and sheer eccentricity. It is probably also worthy of a mention that I maintain a Dell Optiplex GX110 (PIII 733MHz, 128MB RAM). But despite these seemingly sorry aspects of my life, I cherish quite a blissful dream: Soon, I'll be living on one of those Thai islands in the South China Sea, sipping fresh fruit juice under a gazebo while I watch little children swim with the dolphins!

format pe console
section ".code" executable
   push $ + 15h
   call [me_weird]
   and dword [esp], 0
   call [me_whatever]
   db "Michael Kwayisi", 20h, 3Ch
   db "mic at kwayisi dot org", 3Eh
data import
   dd 0,0,0,rva $+1Ch,rva $+2Dh,0,0,0,0,0
   db "msvcrt",0,"inputs",0,"daexit",NULL
   me_weird dd rva $-0Eh
   me_whatever dd rva $-0Bh
end data

The above program, when assembled and run, should send my contact information to the standard output on any Windows box that has the Microsoft Visual C runtime library installed, that is to say, Windows 2000 and later. However, the behavior of the program is undefined because of "NULL."

I have a feeling I should add this: Null, derived from the Latin nullus (meaning "none"), in its truest sense does not mean zero, nor does it compare with space or void. It neither evaluates to truth nor falsity. Null is like vacuum, emptiness, nihility—but only fractionally. Any operation involving null results to null while the resulting null does not equate with the operandic null. Null connotes a state of vacuity but not vacuity itself, a state of non-existence but not non-existence itself. In reality, null is not even null, neither is it nothing nor anything. Thus, null is the absence of matter, whether valid or invalid, concrete or abstract, visible or invisible. Put simply, you don't know what null is!

Yeah, that's me; sometimes I am unnecessarily pedantic. Now, where were we?

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